Limited Edition #7: Comic Book Confessions

I can’t believe the out pour of support I’ve had since disappearing from the Internet two months ago. So many people emailed, tweeted and wrote letters to ask if I was doing okay or when the column might be returning. I had no idea you cared so much…

…Is what I would have said if even a SINGLE PERSON noticed I disappeared! Look folks, I realize you guys are all busy on the Internet watching cat videos and commenting on Facebook statues with witty retorts but I could have been DEAD.

I could have been lying in the gutter, clinging to life and praying that just one person, just one single reader would wonder where I was and send a concerned tweet but no, the twitter bird stayed quiet.

And as I sat alone, drunk on my own grief, I realized the terrible, horrible truth. I was my only reader. Nobody else reads this column. Maybe my editor but I am not even sure he does. I think he just skims. Are you there, Tyler? Can you hear my plea?

Silence.

So since no one reads this column anyway, I can basically say whatever I want and it won’t matter. I could write anything. I could misspell words like, “thier”. Or maybe I could just write my inner, most personal feelings (like how I feel so lonely).

But instead of that I guess it’s time for my second annual “Comic Book Confessions”.

Three juicy confessions that no one will ever read. Father, forgive me for I have sinned…

1. Spider-Man 3 made me read Marvel Comic Books

If I had any readers, I just lost their respect. You see, like many of you, I’ve been reading comics for a long time. Since about 1995 and I like to tell people that. I am proud of that fact I am a long time reader. I am not a newbie. The movies didn’t pull me… except they kinda did.

You see when Spider-Man 3 was about to come out, I still had never read a single Marvel comic book. But that movie looked so good in the trailers, I couldn’t help but get excited. I know the movie ultimately sucked but the trailers made it look sooooo awesome. You just couldn’t help but get excited. It was the first time I was really into something outside of Batman and DC.

So I went to my local shop and bought a bunch of Spider-Man issues. I basically just started reading current at the time which was just after Civil War and Spider-Man was “Back in Black”. It wasn’t bad and I read a few issues and enjoyed them okay.

Then the movie came out and just royally killed my buzz.

I wouldn’t touch a Marvel Comic again until 2011 but again, excitement for a movie was the driving factor. X-Men: First Class was coming out so I went to pick up some X-Men comics but rather than just grab current issues, I did some googling and actually figured out what some good X-Men stories are. Many people recommended New X-Men by Grant Morrison. I read the first storyline and was hooked.

Unlike Spider-Man, this was a really great story and I ended up reading a ton after that. That same summer Captain America came out and really surprised me so again, I picked up some comics. I actually picked up the Winter Soldier and it blew my mind.

I’ve been a full Marvel reader since 2011. I don’t even read DC anymore besides Batman but I still pick up just about every, single Marvel issue. I’ve worked very hard to catch up on 50 years of stories from this company and I’ve now read way more Marvel than anything but Batman.

So, if you can believe it, movies do bring in a lot of new fans. Even crappy movies like Spider-Man 3.

2. I think I made the New 52 happen and I regret it.

A few years before the New 52 launched there began to be rumors with Final Crisis that it was going to relaunch the DC Universe much as Crisis on Infinite Earths had done many years earlier. Now if you know much about that relaunch, it led to some pretty good stories like Batman: Year One. So the idea of relaunching and having new stories like that being told, really appealed to me.

I pushed very hard for this idea. I always talked it up with people who came into my shop while I was working. I was a major advocate for a line-wide relaunch. Well Final Crisis came and went and everything stayed the same. While I may have been a little bummed, I wasn’t too worried because this was the a great time for DC Comics. We had Grant Morrison and Paul Dini on Batman books, Geoff Johns was well in Green Lantern and so forth. So I was fine.

Well later, to my surprise, in Sept. 2011 DC did relaunch their entire line after Flashpoint. I was so excited for the New 52. I had been wishing for this for years and I really felt a level of responsibility for it. Almost like I wished it into existence.

I started reading like 35 of the new books or something ridiculous. By January of 2012, that was down to about ten. Currently, I read two DC New 52 titles.

If I am being honest (and this probably needs a whole column of it’s own) I hate the New 52. I hate the direction DC has taken almost every character. That goes for Batman as well.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am reading both Batman and Detective, so obviously, I have some level of interest but Batman feels like he is suffering from multiple personality disorder. His personality changes all the time. He’s a family man, he’s a loner, he’s a great detective, he’s a gruff badass.

It’s not even just Batman, its his entire supporting cast. Everyone feels so hard and full of anger. It’s just too dark for me. All of DC feels too dark for me. I mean, I don’t want silver age shenanigans but at little fun wouldn’t hurt.

I love DC but I’ve become on of those grumpy old fans that just wants his DC back. Sadly, I don’t think it will ever really happen.

3. I don’t like Wonder Woman and I am in no way excited for her movie

I am going to just go ahead and put this out there right up front. This is not a knock on female characters. I love female characters. She-Hulk, Batgirl, Jean Grey, Catwoman, Captain Marvel, Black Widow, I would read comics of each of these characters.

But Wonder Woman… I just don’t like her. I never have. I’ve tried the new series which everyone raves about and I still can’t get into it. I just don’t like the character.

Now, I know I just got done knocking on DC in the previous section but this doesn’t have anything to do with the direction of the New 52. It’s just Wonder Woman. I’ve never been the biggest fan of mythology so that probably doesn’t help but the fact remains, I just don’t care whatever happens to Wonder Woman.

But Travis, what about her role in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice? I don’t care. I am not a fan of the casting choice and she just seems shoehorned in there. If Warner Bros. can’t be bothered to care about Wonder Woman, I don’t know why I should.

But I want to end on a positive note for Wonder Woman (and maybe DC as a whole). Nothing is set in stone. Batman v Superman: Dawn of long titles may be an amazing movie and the Wonder Woman portrayal may completely change my opinion. It happened before with Marvel.

DC has one of the greatest rosters of characters and eventually things will swing back around for me but for now, I just have to wait for the next line-wide reboot or a movie that really takes me in.

What are your comic confessions? Let me know in the comments and I’ll… oh yeah, no one reads this thing. I could just write anything here.

Sometimes I think birds are talking to me with their minds.

Walter White reminds me of my grandpa.

When I exercise I think about ways to eat cupcakes.
Whew, that feels better.